


I'm yours

by crispycrumblycrust



Category: Holby City
Genre: Gen, Unrequited Love?, since it's hanssen who knows, that may or may not be requited to some degree, will never be canon, writing about a character that has only appeared for three episodes is a very bad idea, yet here i am with lots of hc aka my nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 18:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13013745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispycrumblycrust/pseuds/crispycrumblycrust
Summary: A trip down the basement of the hospital wobbles Hanssen.





	I'm yours

**Author's Note:**

> Also inspired by that old interview where Guy hinted at a romance during his studies that didn't work out. I know they probably meant Maja, but when has that ever stopped me from wishful thinking?
> 
> Takes place before ep 63.

The moment Henrik is caught, he should have fled, make excuses. Anything to escape this frozen state, as if he's trespassing on his own hospital.

" _Mi casa es tu casa,_ " he jokes and spreads his arms. "Your hospital."

_Your project,_ John's said once upon time. They were study partners, back when things were different. _Still yours,_ he hinted when he finally revealed himself and greeted the three of them – the four prodigies reunited.

He crosses the threshold and glances around the room. It's the first time he truly looks. Unopened boxes and suitcases sit in the corner, but the room is not as sterile and formal as before.

"I see you've settled in." _After all that's happened_. His voice is steady, his heart isn't.

"Indeed. The staff has been a great help." _Your staff,_ Henrik hears.

Everyone here sees him as an outsider, a professor wearing an expensive suit, except him and Roxanne and-

"Nevertheless, if you wish to relocate..." Henrik leaves the words hanging, the same way David and so many others linger in his mind and torture his thoughts.

"It's fine. I like it here. It's perfect." His smile softens as John glances away, almost shyly. Some things never change. Choosing a different entrance to observe the staff as much as to sneak in without drawing too much attention.

"Well, the offer stands, should you reconsider."

"It's fine," he repeats, as blue eyes find his. The board, accumulated into one voice, pesters his mind: health and budget concerns, technological innovation always comes with risks. Perhaps that's another reason John has chosen the basement. Containment, if things go wrong.

He's too weary to argue. Henrik nods.

"It's been a tiring day, hasn't it?" A rhetorical question, hiding the underlying _are you okay?_ John always withholds info, hides his thoughts and intentions behind grins, stares, and that charm that few can resist.

Henrik can ask him this question too. John's been on Darwin, Keller, AAU, inspiring awe in patients and staff. He never yawns or takes a break once.

"Now that you're here..." he pauses, puts his suitcase on the floor. "I want to show you something." And crosses the room. He beckons Henrik closer.

He should sit in one of the chairs, rest his hands on the table – hold his distance – yet chooses the dangerous way. He follows his gaze as John types in commands and presses _enter_.

They wait for the printer to stop moving.

"Well, what do you think?" John seems so proud as he presents his latest gift. The same glint appeared in his eyes whenever he's found a better memory aid to study and shared it with him.

A patch. Not the most subtle hint.

"This is used to stop the bleeding?" The image of Jac laying on the table flashes in his mind.

"Correct." Not looking for compliments, perhaps not even gratitude.

His eyes bore into his. Henrik doesn't take the bait. He's fine. John should focus on others.

The grin leaves his face as he steps closer. Henrik tenses, breath hitching. He's forgotten that John can be very stubborn once he's put his mind to something. It seems Henrik is his target.

John glances at the right side of his abdomen. The scar caused by a nail gun. A remnant of a son, his grieving grown so desperate that he kidnapped the CEO. That scar reminds him of the consequences of his decisions, putting the staff and patients at risk. The hospital survived, then. He's not so certain of this time.

Of course he's read their files. _Would you have done it differently?_ he almost hears John in his mind. Another thing that hasn't changed, this attention to detail. Henrik understands. He's done the same things once upon a time, before he's stepped foot in this hospital for the first time.

The patch hovers there – apply pressure to stop the bleed. Blue eyes stare, his hand steady. His eyes travel up, to his heart, to his forehead. Wounds that will never heal, trauma placed on top of another. The patch is wasted on Henrik.

His gaze lowers to his lips and stop there. John licks his lips. It's not the first time he's done this. This undefined... _thing_ between them remained unexplored and unspoken for years. It should not change now.

Henrik leans back, the vein in his forehead throbbing. A headache will come soon. A flash of...something appears in these blue eyes. Others rarely show it to him, Henrik doesn't give them the chance. After all, attention and care are things Henrik gives to others, not receive.

John tenses too, as if preparing to rebel. But then he lays the patch on the table and holds his hands up, showing him the universal _I surrender_ gesture. Henrik isn't fooled. John is many things, but not harmless. And certainly doesn't give up so easily.

He clears his throat. After he's graduated, he left again. He ran away from his past, friends, and responsibility. Ran away from John – from love.

He does it again, excuses himself softly and marches to the exit.

A soft _Henrik_ almost stops him. A lament as much as a siren song designed to lure him back. This is the first time he's said his name since he's joined the ranks.

Eyes prickle his neck, his back. It brings back memories, quiet and intimate moments between them more than thirty years ago. But ghosts haunt this basement. Death and misfortune stain this place. They overwhelm everything else.

Yet his hands twitch and a part of him aches to go back, spill out his worries and sorrows – something even a professional can never coax out of him, not voluntarily. If he's careful, _maybe_ fond memories between them won't be mentioned.

But he can't. The past is connected with scars. It will open old wounds, make him lose control. He knows leaning on John, being _close_ to him, will make him feel wondrous, safe, whole. Henrik doesn't need it, doesn't deserve it. Any burdens, any _failings,_ are his alone to bear.

He shuts the door behind him and puts a lid on his feelings.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Look how well I’m coping after the last 3 eps and the winter trailer...


End file.
